So stressed. Juggling balls. Spinning plates. Spinning myself. Today was a day of anxiety, of making mistakes because I wasn’t thinking straight and things felt like they were all going wrong.
But then I stopped off at the Norwich Film Festival on the way home and some of the short films really touched me. They brought really odd little snippets of my past back. A little boy watching a wolf loping, inexhaustible by the side of the window of a car. A mother who realises that she and her little boy are all the matters in the world. A little girl who is bullied for being an artist and an individual.
Then walking home I get an email asking me to read somebody’s script for a possible collaboration/adaptation for the stage. I have an email about the opportunity for my first paid acting work of 2018. I’m working on a piece of film next week and I have two other scripts I am working on. Then suddenly I find it’s all pouring out and I’m crying with happy, realising that despite all the stress, the anxiety and the trying to make ends meet around my studies, I am happier than I have ever been. I have many people in my life that I feel grateful and lucky to know. People who believe in me. That I believe in me.
I am acting. I am doing what I love. I am blessed to have found my calling. To all those brave, beautiful, creative, broken, mended, struggling artists, whatever your pursuasion. Stay bold. Stay persistent. Stay resilient! Fight, fall down and get back up. Keep standing. It’s worth it.