Okay, the whole of Australia is on fire, the UK has been dropped into Brexshit creek without a paddle, a boat, or a rubber ring, and everyone is saying we are on the verge of world war three. So, I suppose, in the scheme of things, me precariously wobbling onto another stepping stone in my acting career isn’t big news this week.
But for me, getting my face onto IMDB, in association with my being in a full movie was exciting. It felt like an officially, official thing. I tried to tell the world quietly and gently, but to be honest I failed, just a bit, as I squeeeeed and unashamedly posted it across every social media channel I have a profile on.
I wasn’t even in a big part. I just sat in a pub scene and drank beer with the main character played by Paul Goldsmith, met some great peeps, had a cuddle with the resident doggo. But it was a paid part in an independent film, I was incredibly happy to be part of it and I got a lovely, shiny IMDB credit. I haven’t watched the movie yet but it is called ‘Hellthy’ and is out now on Amazon.
Because I am who I am, I have had the usual existential scuffle between the brain squirrels in my head. On the one hand I don’t need validation for my artistic merit. I act therefore I am an actor, I write therefore I am a writer. I am an amazing, creative lump of stardust-sprinkled-meatball.
But there’s still that little person inside saying be humble, be quiet, be small. If you celebrate too loudly, people wil resent your tiny, pathetic achievement and tear you down behind your back. Snigger that you think such a little thing matters. What an impostor. Anxiety is sucky.
But just between you and me and all of social media and the interwebbynet, I am insanely happy and more than a bit excited to finally have an IMDB movie credit. I’ll shut up about it now.